The Duckworth Lewis Method - The Umpire Lyrics
I awake early morning, press my shirt, clean my shoesEgg and soldiers for my breakfast, kiss the wife, avoid the newsTake the wheel of my Escort, sixty-five, middle laneWatch the Jags and the Ferraris, leave me in their wake againWho would aspire to be an umpire and who would be a referee?We’re only here to be sneered at, just a relic of yesteryearThere was a time when we were held high, but it’s not how it used to beThey only let us stick around so they’ve someone to kick aroundOne more relic of yesterdayDo you think, they would miss me if I took a holiday?Spent the morning at the seaside, candyfloss, penny arcadeNo abuse, no indignation, no vitriol, no angry mobsNo high pressure situations, I’m just trying to do my jobWho would aspire to be an umpire and who would be a referee?We’re only here to be laughed at, just a relic of yesteryearThere was a time when we were held high, but now they’ve got technologyReplaying every scene to prove that we are of no further useAnd sport is just a computer gameJust a relic of yesterday
