Deadpool Said - Deadpool Musical - Beauty And The Beast "Gaston" Parody Lyrics
(warning language not appropriate for all yo have been warned)Deadpool (spoken):Well, I'm an idiotI could have sworn the invite said it was a costume party(man coughs)That guy gets itLove the hairSo what's tonights theme?Everyone's dressing like what the 90's thought was tough?Oh come on Bartender me!Ask me "Rough day?" while you rubThe same spot over and overBartender (spoken):Do you ever shut up?Deadpool (spoken):I know i'm a chatty cathyBut what are you gonna do? sew my mouth shut?Ah-ah-ah-ahDon't answer thatBartender (spoken):If you stay here Deadpool ...It's gonna get ugly real fastDeadpool (spoken):Ooh was that a musical cue?Bartender (sung):Gosh it disturbs meTo see you deadpoolIn fact, it usually does'cause you look like my ballsUnder that hood, deadpoolJust thinking of it kills my buzzDeadpool (spoken to the camera):You know, normally that would have just hurt my feelings ...... but DAMN it. I've always wanted to be in a musicalBartender (sung):There's no man in townAs reviled as youAnd hell they all wish you would die!Even though you've provenQuite tricky to killEveryone's going toTryyyyBoth:NooooooooooOooooooone'sDeadpool:Slick as DeadpoolNo one's quick as deadpoolNo one punches youRight in the DICKLike deadpoolFor there's no man in townHalf as --(spoken)Ooo Chimichanga!(sung)Perfect, give up man, it's goneYou can ask Anna, Natty or BetsyAnd they'll tell you who's teamThey prefer to be oooooon!Black widow (spoken):Avengers.Rogue (spoken):X-menDeadpool (spoken):Come on, say X-ForcePsylocke(spoken):Bugger off WadeDeadpool (spoken):So what's going on with this threesome anyway?Sexy recon? Super "charlie's Angels"?Oh! I could be your Bosley!Rogue (spoken):Watch your back sugarDeadpool (sung):NooooooooooOooooooone'sFun like DeadpoolShoots his gun like DeadpoolBlack widow:Heroes should not kill a tonLike deadpoolDeadpool:My kill count is reallyIntimidatingPub crowd:Hey kill that guy!That deadpool!Shoot off his ballsCut off his routeDeadpool:Hey sexy friendsWon't you please help me out?Pub crowd:FiiiiiiiirstOoooooooneTo kill DeadpoolGets to win the dead poolDeadpool:If Spider-man were hereThat'd be really coolSpider-man:You're lucky i wasPassing through hereDeadpool:Yaaaay!Your tights do great thingsFor your arseRandom voice:Hey you're no slouch in that way eitherDeadpool:Thanks voiceBut every last inch of me'sCovered in scaaaars!{gun shot}(spoken)SHIT!Mother... *****er!(gun shot)(sung)NooooooooooOoooooooneFlips like DeadpoolChanges clips like DeadpoolNo one wields katanasAnd RIPS like DeadpoolI'm especially good atDECAPITATINGSevered head:Heads roll for deadpoolDeadpool:When i was a boyI humped this unicornEvery morning to help me get offBut lately i'm thinkingI might hump the hulkTell me what is that likeRomanoooooff?Black widow, Rogue and Psylocke:NooooooooooOoooooooneBlack widow:Jokes like deadpoolRogue:Or provokes like deadpoolPsylocke:No one else has an egoTo stroke like DeadpoolDeadpool:You guys wanna spoonAnd watch Conan laterBlack widow, Rogue and Psylocke:NO!Black widow, Rogue Psylocke and deadpool:My what a guyyyyBlack widow, Rogue and Psylocke:DEADPOOOOOOLDeadpool:MEEEEEEEEEEE!(They leave)Bartender (spoken):HEY! Who's gonna help clean this shit up!?Deadpool (distant and spoken):Not it!Bartender (spoken):Awww, *****ing perfect...(credits play)(after credits)Deadpool (spoken quietly):Come to daddy precious ...(metal claw SNIKT!, toy squeak)Uh, excuse meThat's my unicornWolverine (Spoken):Go ***** yourselfDeadpool:Oh let's go do that!Have you got time for a fastball special?(SNIKT!)Oooh two in the pool one in the stool?
