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Song title: Loudon Wainwright III - I Wish I Was A Lesbian

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I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have mess with men and all their come and go,
And all that awful facial hair and yucky machis'mo!
I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.
I'd sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.
I'd throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.
I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!
I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.
I would hang with with K. D. Lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike!
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.
I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung.
Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!
I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!
I dare Casey Kasem to play this!
I wish I was a lesbian I know it's sad but true,
But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do,
But if I was a lesbian, I wouldn't have tooo!
I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
And all that awful facial hair and yucky machis'mo
(I hate that damn machis'mo!)
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!