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Song title: 3 Minute Hero - Charlie

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charlie had a mission 
 charlie had a quest 
 charlie had a question that stumped the very best 
 how do i get a girl close enough to me 
 to make her mine perpetually? 
 charlie never got an answer that he used 
 but due his results he should be excused 
 charlie had a mission 
 charlie had a dream 
 charlie had ambition like you have never seen 
 charlie had one driving goal in his life 
 to get a woman close enough to him to make her his wife 
 he had plenty of shots at the opposite sex 
 but he always uttered a pessimistic hex 
 wrong time wrong place 
 wrong person wrong clothes 
 and to top it off you got a funny nose 
 charlie hung at bookstores 
 charlie hung at bars 
 he could make a book for his emotional scars 
 charlie thought that he had reached the end of his rope 
 when a leggy blonde masqueraded by as hope 
 charlie staked his life in this...his last attempt 
 he strutted up beside her and grumbled "ahem!" 
 [chorus] 
 charlie got a girl 
 charlie got a gal 
 charlie was a squirrel she was his peanut pal 
 they did everything together both day and night 
 and despite cohabitation they rarely had a fight 
 but charlie's dame was a camaro who soon became a hearse 
 that's when charlie uttered the familiar curse 
 [chorus