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Song title: Home Grown - Christmas Crush

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Had a crush on santa
Since I was 9 years old
But oh santa
Why do You go?
Once a year you come visit me
Eat my cookies, leave presents the same old routine
But now santa
I want something more
No presents all that this girl's askin for
Santa sleep with me tonight!
I read these words in her diary
An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy
I shouldn't have, but I'm glad I did
Wonder what does she see in him
A big old tub of jelly with a double chin
He's older than my grandmother
Indeed this fetish is really bizarre
Sexual attraction for this holiday star
I gotta plan that you wouldn't believe
But I've gotta act like it's christmas eve
Santa's suit is what I will get
And give my girlfriend a night that she'll never forget
And neither will I
Went through my closet and found a red robe
Made a beard out of cotton, stuffed my shirt with pillows
And drove to my girl's house
I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay
Saw santa and my girl in red lingere
And in between all the moans and groans
I heard her say
Oh santa, Oh santa
She said santa I miss you I love you
I wish you would stay home forever with me
Santa I knew you were coming to town
But tonight you are coming in me
Santa, get off of my girlfriend
get off of my girlfriend