Musicals - Chess - The Merchandisers Lyrics
The Soloists:Whether you are pro or anti,Or could not care less,We are here to tell youWe are here to sell you chess.Not a chance of you escapingFrom our wiles,We've locked the doors,We've blocked the aisles,We've a franchise worth exploitingAnd we will, yes we will!When it comes to merchandisingWe could kill.Female Soloists:When you get upMale Soloists:When you get up in the morningSoloists:Till your bedtime book,You will have to live your lifeWith bishop, knight, and rook.Male Soloists:Clean your teeth withCheckered toothpaste,Wear our vests.Female Soloists:Our kings, and queensOn bouncing breasts.Soloists:You could even buy a set,And learn to play.We don't mind,We'll sell you somethingAnyway.We've done allOur market research,And our finding showThat this game of chessWill be around a month or so.Maybe it's a bit confusingFor a game,But Rubik's cubesWere much the same.In the endThe whole world bought oneAll were gone,By which timeWe merchandisersHad moved on!By which timeWe merchandisersHad moved on!