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Musicals - Chess - The Merchandisers Lyrics

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  • The Soloists:
  • Whether you are pro or anti,
  • Or could not care less,
  • We are here to tell you
  • We are here to sell you chess.
  • Not a chance of you escaping
  • From our wiles,
  • We've locked the doors,
  • We've blocked the aisles,
  • We've a franchise worth exploiting
  • And we will, yes we will!
  • When it comes to merchandising
  • We could kill.
  • Female Soloists:
  • When you get up
  • Male Soloists:
  • When you get up in the morning
  • Soloists:
  • Till your bedtime book,
  • You will have to live your life
  • With bishop, knight, and rook.
  • Male Soloists:
  • Clean your teeth with
  • Checkered toothpaste,
  • Wear our vests.
  • Female Soloists:
  • Our kings, and queens
  • On bouncing breasts.
  • Soloists:
  • You could even buy a set,
  • And learn to play.
  • We don't mind,
  • We'll sell you something
  • Anyway.
  • We've done all
  • Our market research,
  • And our finding show
  • That this game of chess
  • Will be around a month or so.
  • Maybe it's a bit confusing
  • For a game,
  • But Rubik's cubes
  • Were much the same.
  • In the end
  • The whole world bought one
  • All were gone,
  • By which time
  • We merchandisers
  • Had moved on!
  • By which time
  • We merchandisers
  • Had moved on!

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