John Prine - Middle Man Lyrics
I was sitting in a dinerWith a girl named floShe wouldnt say yesBut she couldnt say noShe said darling, can I get a middle man?She was engaged to a fellowOn the lay a way planBut she carried all her moneyIn a coffee canShe said darling, can I get a middle man?The cook looked overWith a short order faceDropped a forkAnd he saw flos legsStraightened his apronAnd burnt my eggsI got competitionEverywhere I goThese daysShe was leaning on the juke boxAnd was lookin real goodLike natalie woodOn a pontiac hoodI said darling, I think I need a little handYa see, Ive seen my downsIve seen my upsI seen miniature dogsIn coffee cupsBut darling I aint never seen a middle manFlo talked slowLike real wet paintShe saidA middle mans thereWhen the other ones aintHes got a left handed mannerThat leans to the rightSleeps all dayAnd keeps it up all night ...... I got an aunt in ohioAnd a boat that wont rowSome veterans insuranceAnd nowhere to goDarling, can I be your middle man?(spoken)If I could get the money in that coffee canI could open me up a lemonade standSend all the kids off to pakistanMake flo happyIf I canJerry mahoney and johnny b. goodeAre gonna buy me a house in hollywoodDarling I think I got the perfect planWere gonna save half a dollarsAnd sell em to franceBuy us a recordAnd learn how to danceAnd darling Ill always be your middleDarling go buy a griddleDarling I wanna be your middle man