Frank Zappa - Illinois Enema Bandit Lyrics
--- -------- ----- ------And now folks it's time forDon PardoTo deliver our specialIllinois Enema Bandit-type announcementTake it away, Don"This is a true storyAbout a famous criminalFrom right around ChicagoThis is the story ofMichael KenyonA man who's serving time at this very momentFor the crime of armed robberyIt so happened, that at the time of the robberyMichael, decided to give his female victimsA little enemaApparently, there was no law against thatBut his name lives onMichael KenyonTHE ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT!"The Illinois Enema BanditI heard he's on the looseI heard he's on the looseLord, the pitiful screamsOf all them college-educated women...Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up(They'd be all bound down!)Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fullaThe Illinois Enema Bandit JuiceHe just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fullaThe Illinois Enema Bandit JuiceHe just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fullaThe Illinois Enema Bandit JuiceHe just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fullaThe Illinois Enema Bandit JuiceThe Illinois Enema BanditI heard it on the newsI heard it on the newsBloomington Illinois...he has caused some alarmJust sneakin' around thereFrom farm to farmGot a rubberized bagAnd a hose on his armLookin' for some rustic co-ed rumpThat he just might wanna pumpLookin' for some rustic co-ed rumpThat he just might wanna pumpLookin' for some rustic co-ed rumpThat he just might wanna pumpThe Illinois Enema BanditOne day he'll have to payOne day he'll have to payThe police will say, *"You're under arrest!"*And the judge would have him for a special guestThe D.A. will order a secret testAnd stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vestThen they'll put out a call for the jury folksAnd the judge would say, *"No poo-poo jokes!"*Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy...HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"And then the bandit might say, *"Why is everybody looking' at me?"*WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY?WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?Now, one girl shout: *"Let the Bandit be!"*BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA?Another girl shout: *"Let the fiend go free!"*ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?The Bandit say, *"It must be just what they all needs..."**"It must be just what they all needs..."**"It must be just what they all needs..."**"It must be just what they all needs..."**"It must be just what they all needs..."**"It must be just what they all needs..."*etc. repeatWanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enemaEnemarepeat
