Andrew Lloyd Webber - Gus The Theater Cat Lyrics
Gus is the cat at the theater doorHis name, as I ought to have told you beforeIs really Asparagus, and that's such a fuss to pronounceThat we usually call him just GusHis coat's very shabby. He's thin as a rakeAnd he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shakeYet he was in his youth quite the smartest of catsBut no longer a terror to mice or to ratsFor he isn't the cat that he was in his primeThough his name was quite famous, he says, in his timeAnd whenever he joins his friends at their club(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)He loves to regale them, if someone else paysWith anecdotes drawn from his palmiest daysFor he once was a star of the highest degreeHe has acted with Irving, he's acted with treeAnd he likes to relate his successes on the hallsWhere the gallery once gave him seven cat callsBut his greatest creation as he love to tellWas Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the FellI have played in my time every possible partAnd I used to know seventy speeches by heartI'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gagAnd I knew how to let the cat out of the bagI knew to act with my back and my tailWith and hour of rehersal, I never could failI'd a voice that would soften the hardest of heartsWhether I took the lead, or in character partsI have sat by the bedside of poor little NellWhen the curfew was run then I swung on the bellIn the Pantomime Season I never fell flatAnd I once understudied dick Whittington's catBut my grandest creation, as history will tellWas Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the FellThen, if someone will give him a toothful of ginHe will tell how he once played a part in East LynneAt a Shakespeare performance he once walked on patWhen some actor suggested the need for a catAnd I say now these kittens, they do not get trainedAs we did in the days when Victoria reignedThey never did get drilled in a regular troupAnd they think they are smart just to jump through a hoopAnd he says as he scratches himself with his clawsWell the theater is certainly not what it wasThese modern productions are all very wellBut there's nothing to equal from what I hear tellThat moment of mystery when I made historyAs Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the FellI once crossed the stage on a telegraph wireTo rescue a child when a house was on fireAnd I think that I still can much better than mostProduce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghostAnd I once played GrowltigerCould do it again, could do it againCould do it again
