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Allan Sherman - Hail To Thee, Fat Person Lyrics

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  • Hail To Thee, Fat Person
  • I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service.
  • When I was a child, my mother said to me,
  • "Clean the plate, because children are starving in Europe."
  • And I might point out that that was years before the Marshall Plan
  • was ever heard of.
  • So I would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day.
  • Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving
  • in Europe.
  • But I was wrong. They kept starving. And I got fat.
  • So I would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny
  • or in some other way normal--
  • When you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person,
  • Do not scoff at that fat person. Oh no!
  • Take off your hat. Hold it over your heart.
  • Lift your chin up high. And in a proud, happy voice say to him,
  • "Hail to thee, fat person!
  • You kept us out of war

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