Allan Sherman - Crazy Downtown Lyrics
(Parody of "Downtown" by Petula Clark)Mommy and Dad are never nervous or madWhen you teenagers go downtown.Daddy and Mom just stay at home and be calmAnd watch the late late show uptown.Cause when you kids are gone we get to spend some time alone hereThat's our only chance to use the bathtub or the phone hereWhen you're awayBesides, we're stuck where we areBecause you kids took our money, you kids took our car and wentDowntown, where can you possiblyDowntown, it's twenty after threeDowntown, what do you mean by, "Let's fruck"?You don't come home till 4 AM cause you're roamingIn the streets somewhere, downtown.We would feel swell if only someone would tell usWhat goes on down there, downtown.But every time we ask you what you're doing after dark thereYou just say that you were frucking to Petula Clark thereThat's what I meanSo, kids, give your folks a breakBecause you're driving us crazy, we sit here all night and takePill town, swallowing pills so we'llCalm down, counting the hours you'reDowntown, you and your fruck and your slop.While we're lying there we try to watch the televisionThen you call us up and say you've had a slight collisionThere goes the carBesides that you've been arrestedSo we've got to get up, and we've got to get dressed and goDowntown, borrow a car and goDowntown, that's where you are, you finks,Downtown, wait 'till I get you kids home.(Spoken) There'll be no more frucking, no swing, no jerk, no mashed potato, no slop! And you know what else? You're gonna stay home tonight, and your mother and I are going downtown and we're going to dance the tango, and the waltz, and the foxtrot, and we're gonna do the bunny hop. That's a nice dance! And there'll be no more frucking! Is that quite clear? NO MORE FRUCKING!
