Adam Sandler - The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions Lyrics
Performed by adam sandler and conan o brien :And now a buffoons meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.Dean: well michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.Buffoon: I got a snake, man!Dean: yes, pets are welcome here on campus. be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.Buffoon: one time I fed it some beer man! it was slithering this way and that! it was all *****ed up!Dean: Im sure it was. well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus.Buffoon: *****in shit!Dean: yes, thats a not uncommon reaction to this policy. so tell me a little bit more about your background.Buffoon: my fathers a *****ing *****, man!Dean: hmm, I see. your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.Buffoon: my mothers a piece of shit too!Dean: well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn.Buffoon: my teacher in high school was a stupid *****, man! she had her head way up her ass!Dean: well the quality of the faculty at a university such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.Buffoon: your secretarys a real fat *****, man!Dean: yes, shes tried many diets over the years with minimal success.Buffoon: I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all *****ing day!Dean: uh huh, well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience. so have you given any thought to your choice of major?Buffoon: Ive got a big *****ing boner right now.Dean: I see. well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension. I do not take offense.Buffoon: one time I ate my neighbors shit!Dean: thats understandable. well, I enjoyed meeting you. well be sending you our decision by the end of the month.Buffoon: I bet you got really hairy balls.Dean: yes, its a veritable forest down there. bye bye.
